Sep 16

Knowledge from a Fever

A lot of Knowledge got reinforced again and again. Pain is inevitable, so is the gain. I felt I gained quite a bit of wisdom.

I deeply realized the complementariness of opposite values. The fever made me appreciate the value of good health and energy. One walk around the floor would leave me drained and I felt grateful for a millions things that I usually take for granted. I realized what a charmed life I live and the blessings I have, to be an instrument of such beautiful and liberating knowledge, a source of joy inducing techniques and a fountain of love.

Acceptance – after a while acceptance is a non-issue, it happens without choice. You simply have to accept that people are doing the best they can for you, however much you don’t like it. Now that I have recovered I am so grateful to Seema and Bau for force-feeding me, when I didn’t want to eat a single thing. The fever and the drugs totally took away my appetite. In retrospect I can see how important it was to eat then. I am so glad i did :)

Don’t be a football was a tough one. Great opinions were offered with paramount  love. So I slept one night with 4 fresh cut onions stuck on a fork placed in glasses. It looked pretty artistic if you manage to vacuum shut your nose. The next day I had onion flavored everything, from toothpaste to water, to medicines to food and of course the breath.

Another opinion led me to have a guava leaf concoction and since my family had prepared me for this day with neem leaf and bitter gourd juice, I drank it by simply fading my smile a bit and not actually wiping it off. Then I was very charmingly offered payapa leaf potion, which quickly wiped off whatever was left of my smile and made me conclude that only a worm would have come up all these recipes; to leave the fruit and go for the leaf.

Ugh!

Live in the present moment – I always taught it’s the coolest place to be in. But presently it was very hot. But I don’t mind hot, so it was cool. But the throbbing  headaches which came as a package deal with the fever were truly terrible. But Thank God for ujjayi breath, adi mudra, Om Namah Shivaya (and crocin of course).

Pain and suffering usually go together. However, Guruji had remarked that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Ill health can be a matter of wrong choices, but happiness is a matter of choice. Ill health and happiness is a perfectly workable partnership.

In those couple of weeks, I must have been poked so many times for blood, i have lost count. My IV entry points were changed 5 times. My life was becoming a numbers game. Everyday, I had to fill a chart of the water volume I had and how much i peed. Then fever levels were monitored at least 10 times a day and 5-6 times in the night. Blood pressure and pulse was checked 4 times (I thought it should be checked for the people staying with me). Blood and Urine culture test was done. Blood tests were done twice daily. The whole conversation would rotate around there numbers! Is the temperature less than 101, how much did you pee, what’s the platelets count, what’s the WBC and so on… Everyone around me became like they were bit by an OCD bug (Obesssive Compulsive Disorder) about numbers, even I felt like that at times. I would wake up in the middle of the night and ask, “what’s my temperature?”  :)

Seema would give me stars for being a good boy :)

Sometime in the middle I went in a phase where my sense of smell was enhanced a million times. The hospital dispenser soap smell bugged me no end. Then a lotion to reduce inflammation after they around the IV was awarded the world’s worst smelling thing (though Dr Seema begged to differ and said ‘blood smells worse’). Then, if I would see food lying in the dustbin, it would irritate me. Most of the times, I didn’t want to eat anything. “Don’t even talk about food”. I went into a phase of don’t want to see anything red or yellow in my food (this was really difficult for Bawa and the cooks to comply with, nevertheless, they did a brilliant job). On top of all this, one day, I was made to drink almost a litre of water and then they took me for a long drive on a wheel chair for sonography. I was doing driving motions which some of the security guards found very amusing. I kept looking around trying to see the screen and make sure there was no baby inside (remember all those mood swings?!).

The nurses were simple Malayali girls who would do their work diligently, whether it was blood sucking or sponging me (sometimes the fever would not come down, even after a paracetemol and i had to be sponged for the body to cool down). They would talk very little. So Bawa once asked whether there are any good eating joints around. And this nurse went on for about 10 minutes explaining every food place in the vicinity. That’s the power of food, it can make the silent ones talk, the lame ones walk. Its almost like Grace…

Gazing...

When I got a little bored of the ceiling’s intricate philosophical whiteness stretching to infinity on all thousand sides, I would entertain myself looking out of the window. I would see the tress with each and every leaf joyfully dancing to the breeze, soft light of the sunset or the sunrise, happy cows grazing blissfully oblivious to the cares of the world, small children standing in the lines for the school assembly and a lone eagle far away gliding on the air currents. There is abundance of joy and beauty ever present in nature for us to partake of, any moment.

More next week…

Jai Gurudev!

love

dinesh


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38 Responses to “Knowledge from a Fever”

  1. kapil says:

    it is so funny….the way you have written..

  2. Jitu Khatri says:

    Bhaiya, You want to finish your quota of post on this blog with one single story in multiple parts.

  3. Parul says:

    Jai guru dev !!
    Om Namah Shivay…. Oh my god you really had tough time…This post is really touching… love you a lot … Its sooooooo nice to know that you have recovered .Your thought during your sonography was extremely funny. jgd. love you.

  4. Anjesh says:

    Full of flow post :)
    M coming to Ashram for Navratri.. See u den :)

  5. ann says:

    Dinesh looks awful … hope he has improved now and put on some weight..
    gow is the fever now? does he still feel weak?

  6. Prakirtee says:

    Ohhh Dinesh bhaiya! Glad u’re well now :)
    lots of love to you!

  7. Yogi says:

    “to be an instrument ……… and a fountain of love”
    Truly said bhaiya. Someone’s suffering and someone else learns.
    Nothing much to say. Thanks a million for everything you’ve given. I’m glad, blessed, in grace etc etc. that i was born at such a great time. thanks to You, Bau and Him, just everyone around me.
    Eagerly waiting for the next part.

    Loads of Love,
    Yogi

  8. Upasana says:

    :-) Jai Gurudev!!!

  9. B Prasanna says:

    So profound :) You write so beautifully!!!!! WAH!!!!

    You are amazing :)

    Jai Gurudeva!

  10. Jyuthika says:

    Awwww Dinesh bhaiyaaa… wish you a speeedy recovery ;)
    Take care !!

    Jai Gurudeva :)

  11. Aditi_Vashishth says:

    :) hoping that u have recovered fully now :) awaiting the next post eagerly!!!

    lots of love bhaiya and tc :) JGD

  12. Ranjani says:

    Jai Gurudev Dinu da..Am GLAD u are better now.. Hope this viral infection’s leaves u as soon as possi..
    Love and prayers,
    ranjani

  13. kumar simha says:

    wts been described is indescribable!!…..its only in art of living that teh happier, knowledgable side can be appreciated in any situation :)….jgd bhaiyya…so happy for u having recovered :)

  14. Meghana says:

    You know dada when I hear that YOU were hospitalized, the first thought that came to my mind was “How can Dinesh dada fall ill?”

  15. Mansee says:

    The other positive thing is that you have been writing more regularly :) (though would have liked some other reason for that!!)..Glad (or rather Hope) that u r doing way better now!
    Take care…
    Jai Gurudev!!

  16. Vishu says:

    O my darling sweetheart dinesh da….my goodness….what a amazing post full of humor and knowledge!!!

    A person can both learn n full on enjoy in this post…how we can catch the knowledge in our worst situations of life, u have taught us in this. I was amazed the way u was able to catch knowledge out of so worst things…Amazing dada, only u can do it!

    I Love u dada…blessings for you to be in action again :)

    Thanku Bau for making this blog…helps me everytime to be on the path.

    I love u both
    I love u Guruji :)

  17. pragati mukhopadhyay says:

    u smile..u shine..!! ..see soon…

    luv jaigurudev

  18. Sonia says:

    ……….The star still shines, bright as ever…….:)

    Jai Gurudev!

  19. Gaurav Padhi says:

    i’m not at all happy, even if u r recovering…….

    I wanna say THANKU for the work u r doing. Passing the Spiritual knowledge every where, and helping out GURUJI. :-)

    With this i’ll like to thank every single chain because of which i’m able to get this knowledge.

    Now it has become that ur health may not be so important for u,but it is very very important for us and for the ppl who has not got this knowledge yet.

    and from next time there should be no medicine knowledge post in ur blog, u are free to post the knowledge during ur lonely moments in bathroom also but not but not this.

    bub bye. t.c
    love & lights
    jgd.

  20. Gaurav Padhi says:

    can u remove single but not from the above comment..

  21. Raghavan says:

    Wow ! So even senior AOL teachers can fall seriously ill. So even senior AOL teacher are subject to the mysterious laws of karma. A scary thought…if someone doing so much seva-sadhana-satsang can be so laid up…what about the rest of us ?

    JGD

    • Bawa says:

      Even Senior Art of Living Teachers have very mortal physical bodies :)
      As Guruji said Pain is inevitable suffering is optional … and dinesh demonstrated this throughout his prolonged illness
      Jai Gurudeva!
      love
      bawa

      • Nathan SP says:

        AOL or not, Humans are subject to human issues.

        However,

        How you deal with it?
        How often you are subject to it?
        How much soon you are able to be back on track?

        These things occur in a way different zone with the AOL way of thinking.

        And, one don’t even have to part of AOL or attended workshop to know these things. Being simple and Sensible would be sufficient. And, AOL courses are that.

        Please convey these things to the commenter Baws.

        JGD,
        Nathan

  22. Arun Karuppiah says:

    Great article! Deep knowledge from you fever experience peppered with lots of humor! Glad you are back to normal health! JGD!

  23. Akshata says:

    Beautifully written as always! :) So glad ur fine now. JGD

  24. Nathan SP says:

    Dear Dinesh bhaiya – I felt really sorry and sad looking at you in the hospital bed photo. I dont know, I felt really someways. I would always look up to you on most things and to see you like that made me feel really sad :(

    But – good you have put that also in positive spirit and expressed what you went through with the moodswings as well. Really honest post.

    You will be well, much well soon :)

    Baws – Im sure you would have taken super care of bhaiya.
    Nathan

  25. kavish says:

    get well soon……………
    jgd

  26. mandar says:

    hello dinesh bhaiya!!!!!!!! jai gurudev!!!!!!!!!!!
    plzzzzzzzz get well soon……….

  27. Manasi says:

    dinesh da…it is amazing to see ur sense of humour even when you went through so much… your posts are simple n touching….

    glad 2 know tht u have recovered ( guruji’s grace!!)…& hopefully ur everlasting smile is back on ur enlightened face…. take care… jai gurudev….

  28. toral says:

    once in a blue moon….but whatever you write touches the heart ,clicks the intellect, clings on to the memory to be cherished forever !! implementation of knowledge is so beautifully portrayed at such tough times also.
    eagerly waiting for the other half !
    love u bhaiya !
    jai gurudev

  29. Abi says:

    Wishing u a very speedy recovery Dinesh Baiya :) nice reply from Bawa Baiya :) Love u both loads :)

    JaiGuruDeva!!!
    Abi

  30. pratibha says:

    u know, for some strange reason ( actually i know why, i saw the picture and was horrified….) i began reading this backwards, from the end to the beginning… hoping i guess that i will first read that you are now ok, become calm and then go on to how bad it was…… and felt so morose….. u described things am really petrified off… hospital walls, silent & diligent nurses, multiple doctor visits, ppl fussing abt with vile nutrients and bitter pills…. all this is an ultimate nightmare come true… and then, when the part abt the papaya leaf came, i must have laughed for like 20 minutes! No kidding… “only a worm could have come up with this.. forget the fruit and got for the leaf!” Oh man, that is an inspired one….
    Love and hugs

  31. sharika says:

    you know, i really like the hospital picture.. you manage to look cute even in that ugly looking hospital gown :)..
    for a person who has had endless visits to hospitals and regularly falls ill , I know exactly what you are going through,. I would get bugged with illness sometimes, then you did show one can totally and completely be sick and not complain about it :) love u :) muaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

  32. Vasumathi Sriganesh says:

    Dinesh!

    Get well soooooooooooooon,

    I am sure that this experience is a foundation for you to do something BIG in your future teaching and courses. Don’t know what, but you will do much bigger things!!

    In my small ways, I can see how every difficult phase in my life that I went thru, makes me help others. You will rock :)

    Bawa – I loved your comment about “Even Senior Art of Living Teachers have very mortal physical bodies” :) :)
    And it is so true – Dinesh has shown us how suffering is optional! Lovely blog piece too.

    Love you both!

  33. siddharth says:

    So so glad and grateful that u are well now. lots of love . jai gurudev

  34. Harsha says:

    When I got a little bored of the ceiling’s intricate philosophical whiteness stretching to infinity on all thousand sides, I would entertain myself looking out of the window. I would see the tress with each and every leaf joyfully dancing to the breeze, soft light of the sunset or the sunrise, happy cows grazing blissfully oblivious to the cares of the world, small children standing in the lines for the school assembly and a lone eagle far away gliding on the air currents. There is abundance of joy and beauty ever present in nature for us to partake of, any moment…………

    How poetic.. wonderful way to describe.. i love your spirit and would learn sooo much from it… the way you are dealing with it is really inspiring.. after all .. thats why you are Dinesh Bhaiyya.. :)

    On a selfish note… this has become a blessing in disguise.. B&D in B’lore for so many days.. So many courses with Bawa .. profound knowledge.. really blissful..

    Wish you a very speedy recovery.. See you soon Bhaiyya.

    Jai Gurudeva..
    Harsha

  35. Muthu says:

    Wow Dinesh da, you had gone through so much and still did not let it bog you down. its very inspiring.
    and i am so happy you are already back in action, missed you and Bau at the bhakti concert and great writing. please keep writing more. I am realizing myself the opposites with my terrible back pain after 2 weeks of my ayurveda treatment, yep bike ride with Anir was not a good idea.. your post definitely helps me to keep my spirits high inspite of the killing pain. i am not going to let it bog me down either. love ya…

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