Nov 26

Lawyers!

Sent by a Lawyer friend … Enjoy :)

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips move

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50?
A: Your honour.

Q: When lawyers die, why are they buried in a hole 24 feet deep?
A: Because deep down, they are all nice guys

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of crap?
A: a bucket

Q: What is the difference between God and a lawyer?
A: God doesn’t think he’s a lawyer.

Q: What does a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
A: Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A: A gigolo only screws one person at a time.

Q: What do lawyers use as contraceptives?
A: Their personalities.

Jai Gurudeva!

love

bawa


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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46 Responses to “Lawyers!”

  1. Vinay Subrahmanya says:

    ROFL…

  2. snehanshu says:

    that is soooo good
    hahahaha

    good one bawa

    thanks for sharing

    jai gurudev

  3. Pooja says:

    :-)
    .
    .
    .
    Jai Gurudev.!!

  4. Lawyer says:

    Wondering if the same can be said about sri sri sri sri guruji

  5. Shreyas says:

    hahah nice 1 bau…crazzaay…!!

    @Lawyer ,

    Dude your name says it all…and now enjoy your roller coaster ride on Bau’s Blog..!!:P

  6. sudha says:

    No wonder laweys are laways like your honour

    JGD
    Luv
    Sudha

  7. Mayank says:

    hahahahaha… thanks Bau! :)

  8. Sameep Uchil says:

    Awesome one Bau! Mr.Lawyer, ur spoiling ur own image, name and reputation by speaking such crap about Guruji. It doesnt affect anyone and HIM not even remotely. It only deterirorates your garbage mind.

  9. swati says:

    wondering lawyer, stop wandering … find out the answer for yourself… there is a good chance that you will stop being a lawyer…just chill.. do an aol course :)

  10. Danno says:

    hey who is the attention seeking lawyer on bau’s blog ??

  11. Monica Tiwari says:

    how do you know ‘the’ lawyer was trying to act smart?
    “ERROR IN CODE”

  12. Monica Tiwari says:

    haha, very cool :) :)

  13. Abhinand K R says:

    Q: What do you call a thousand lawyers chained at the bottom of the ocean?
    A: A good start!

  14. vishesh says:

    tooo good !!! :)

  15. Alok says:

    Lols….
    This is one of the best posts

  16. Kumar Simha says:

    Bau……rip roaringly hilarious..lol….:) my pik
    the bucket of crap ….!!…hahaha……..lol…:) :)…

    Jgd!!
    Kumar

  17. Neha says:

    Dear Bawa,
    Ha. ha very hilarious..!! The sperm waala joke was the best..!!

    Love,
    Neha

  18. Sahil Arora says:

    What happened to your sense of humour bawa?
    This post was pathetic!

    and I am an engineering student not a lawyer! lol

  19. Anand says:

    Bawa, One in 30 million chance of becoming human being… :D

  20. Shikhar Mehta says:

    hahahahahahahaha.:-)

  21. Shikhar Mehta says:

    Lawyers and Computers have both been proliferating since 1970.

    Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike Computers, have not gotten twice as efficient and half as expensive every 18 months.
    jaigurudeva:-).

  22. Gautam says:

    Another one:
    99% of the lawyers give the rest a bad name!

  23. pooja rao says:

    Swati people like this ‘Lawyer’ know nothing but criticism. Hope they can do the basic course and sudarshan kriya can change their lives. Lawyers would not be needed probably in the world if everybody follows AOL.

  24. Suparna says:

    lol:) Too good! Here are a couple more:

    Lawyer to witness: How was your marriage annulled, sir?
    Witness: By death.
    Lawyer: And whose death was it?

    ***
    An attorney, cross-examining the local coroner, queried, “Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man’s pulse?”

    “No,” the coroner replied.

    “Well, then, did you listen for a heart beat?”

    The coroner answered, “No.”

    “Did you check for respiration? Breathing?”, asked the attorney.

    Again the coroner replied, “No.”

    “Ah,” the attorney said, “So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?”

    The coroner rolled his eyes, and shot back “Counselor, at the time I signed the death certificate the man’s brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I can see your point. For all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere.”

    Hope commenter 1 is still reading…

  25. Amit says:

    hehehehehehehe!!! …… :)

  26. Himanshu says:

    “Adv.” Himanshu Nagarkar says:-
    :-D

  27. Rajeev Pandey says:

    Quite interesting discussion about a lawyer

  28. jui says:

    greeee888!! :-) :-):-)

  29. Vijay says:

    I still vividly remember you sharing these in Mumbai @ the YES+ huddle and we couldn’t resist laughing our heart out. Jai guru dev Bau

  30. Anonymous says:

    :-) Hilarious! By the way who sent u this?

  31. Gautam says:

    Written at the grave of a lawyer:
    “Here lies a man who never lied before.” :)

  32. Aparna says:

    e e e .. :)

  33. S says:

    Don’t you think you can do away with “SCREW” and your frequent reference to “the act” to bring in humour?[remember the peacock joke?] May be you want to connect better to the youth and you think that these are the jokes they would appreciate. That could be true…especially with people who have interacted with you personally…they just love you! But I can not imagine Guruji using these words to make people laugh in Satsang. Then why should his disciple frequently refer to such words to bring in humour? Just a thought ! I am writing because I feel that you are a person who would be open to feedback to improve this blog! JGD

  34. avinash says:

    hey hey hey!!! mr.S.SSS .take a deep breath in and relax buddy.

    Has anyone asked u to read this blog by any chance. If u dont want to read this close ur eyes buddy. And foremost Y THE HELL ARE U DRAGGING GURUJI IN BETWEEN. LET HIM BE WHERE HE IS??

    I dont see any point in bringing him into this. let bau be bau and guruji be guruji. telll me buddy can u be like guruji all the time???

    chillax and enjoy it .. or else as i told u close ur eyes

  35. Achintya Nath Sexena says:

    As an engineer studying law, I agree fully

  36. puneet says:

    very nice

  37. Harsh (baroda) says:

    ha ha ha ha ha ha ….. according to comment no 4 ….. bau you gave real bad 1 whose profession is the same .. A LIER (offcource i mean a lawyer)…..hahaha…. this joke of your burns him up like a hell….

  38. srishti says:

    lol!! bau….loved it!!!!

    im a lawyer…..and i soooo agree…..i laughed sooo hard i cnt tell you….tooo good!!

  39. Gareth says:

    Interesting blog, not like the others!
    Good to see more people writing about guruji.

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