Jan 15

Ze Hermit in Italy

Ze Hermit really wanted to go to Italy…

so Suparna wrote this out for me 🙂

The Mysterious Case of the Fainting Prima Donna

‘Twas a starlit night in Tuscany
Florence was a spectacular sight
The Opera del Marzipan opened its doors
For the season’s opening night

Signora Rosetta Garbocci
The Prima Donna of the show
Having warmed up in the green room
Was now ready to have a go

For all you opera fans out there
Surely she needs no introduction
The Soprano virtuoso was clearly
The star of the entire production

Once the audience had settled in
A hush filled the opera house
They all waited with baited breath
For the first notes to come out

The show proceeded beautifully
The climax was well on its way
The hero, a soldier, was about to tell
His girlfriend, he was gay

Signora Garbocci breathed in deep
She clenched her fists and her toes
She was about to let out her practiced scream
When suddenly she froze

Her knees weakened, she staggered on stage
The soldier rushed to her help
They carried her gently off the stage
And here the curtain fell

There were hushed murmurs and speculations
Was it a case of stage fright?
The papers carried the story next day
Of the disastrous opening night

Doctors were summoned, but strangely enough
Nothing was found to be wrong
Signora was pronounced, fit as a fiddle
Hale, hearty and strong

The following night she appeared on stage
And was performing beautifully
Yet once again at the time of the climax
She collapsed suddenly

When they asked her, what had happened
She whispered “Rrhoma, rrhoma”
No problemo, said the manager
We’ll move the show to Roma!

But sadly, Rome was no different
Here too the climax was aborted
The hero was somehow never able
‘To come out of the closet’

After several days of treatment
Matters turned even worse
The sight of food filled her with
Anger and disgust

She lost weight and became weak
Her maid was consumed with sorrow
Signora wouldn’t touch her favorites
Bruschetta and gelato

Late one night, when the city was asleep
Signora covered herself with a shawl
She set out in the dark night
To fathom the reason for her fall

She reached the back of the opera house
Facing the eastern Piazza
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in
And headed for the “Hilton Plaza”

She climbed a single flight of stairs
And reached room 108
She knocked on the door hesitantly
And waited with bated breath

Seconds later, the door was answered
And who should be it?
Don’t tell me you have no idea
Why it was Bawa, the cooking hermit!

“Signora Garbocci! What an honor!” He exclaimed
“I’m your biggest fan”
“So it is you who cooks in this hotel room
When I’m performing at Marzipan?”

“Yes, of course!” beamed the hermit
“You are such an inspiration
Every time I hear you sing
I’m tempted to light the cauldron

I followed you to Rome last month”
Signora was shocked
“Do you realise Signore, because of you
My career is now wrecked?”

“Pray tell, what did I do?” asked the hermit
Simply aghast
“Well,” replied Signora
“Know if you must

The fumes from your cauldron, (don’t know what you cook)
Are absolutely heady
Everytime I take a whiff
I feel weak in the knees, and giddy

More beautiful than Leo’s Lisa
Or a poem by Machiavelli
More soul touching than Mikey’s Pieta
Or a tiramisu with biscotti

The smell has haunted me for days
Is this how the legend will fall?”
(Let’s not ridicule her for the melodrama
She’s in the opera after all)

“Relax, Signora, take a deep breath in
I may be able to help you”
And with that the hermit lighted his cauldron
And prepared a feast for two

As she tasted the peshawari naan
With navratan korma and pickles
Tears of gratitude rolled down her cheeks
(Or it could have been the spices)

The hermit cooked his Italian favorites
Lasagna and rissotto
Signora gobbled as fast as she could
Stopping only to say “Magnifico!”

As for her return to the Opera
She was a little tensed for sure
A case of jittery nerves, Nothing
A little So-Hum couldn’t cure

The next day she announced to the world
Signora will return on stage
Fans lined up at the ticket counter
If only to see her faint

To a brimming auditorium she returned
And let loose her vocal chords
The climax went brilliantly
Amidst thundering applause

The hermit was given a front-row seat
As Signora’s special guest
He was asked not to bring his cauldron
As a personal request

As the crowds screamed “Encore, encore”
The hermit shouted a few
“Mama Mia, Prima Vera, Armani and Gucci”
(Which was all the Italian he knew)

Thus the mysterious case was solved
Of the Fainting Prima Donna
The hermit packed his spices and cauldron
And left for the mountains of Montana…

There are two more you can read that she had written earlier:

The Hermit and The Hermit goes to France

you can write to her at sue195chat@yahoo.com

Jai Gurudeva!

love

bawa


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30 Responses to “Ze Hermit in Italy”

  1. […] rest is here: Ze Hermit in Italy | Tags: books, cauldron, fainting, games, happy-birthday, hermit, illusion, italy, knowledge, […]

  2. Manu says:

    God, she is amazingg!!

    rolling in laughter ……

  3. Anupam says:

    AWESOME!!!!!!

    as always…suparna really outdoes herself again……just too good…

    the coming out of the closet line really hit home…hehe

    Jai Gurudev
    Love
    Anupam.

  4. Nanddeep says:

    That was too good, Suparna.
    Jai Guru Dev.

  5. Shreyans says:

    This is absolutely mind blowing! What creativity! And ofcourse, u cant blame the poor prima donna for this. Its all your fault Bau 😀

  6. Kuldeep says:

    BRILLIANTANO….
    hehe…
    i could actually visualise the whole poem….especially when she tastes the Indian Cuisine…:))
    really njoid reading it…
    Adios!!!

  7. Vishal says:

    Lol .. Hilarious …

    “Just a case of jittery nerves..
    Nothing a “so-hum” wudnt cure .. !!

    Laughed especially loud at that one .. 😀

    Kudos ..

    will definitely write to her…

    Jai gurudev!

    Vishal

  8. Anshika says:

    The poet and the poem are outstanding …! That actually goes without saying … 🙂
    Jai Gurudeva

  9. Suparna says:

    thanks everyone!
    though i must add, that the last line (room in the ashram) was added by bawa himself 🙂
    it doesn’t rhyme, and hence i have given him some alternatives…hopefully you will see the edited version soon :))

  10. sudha says:

    kudos to suparna for a wonderful poem
    n three cheers to u for being a good cook
    i still remember doing one of ur receipes n got appreciation from my mom:)))
    normally she does’nt do that :(((

  11. Anshika says:

    Ya..The edited one sounds better…Although Vishwamitra one was good too 🙂

  12. tanushree says:

    one word for both the poet and the subject!fabulous!!:-)
    jai guru dev!

  13. Anshika says:

    The schedule on the right looks better now 🙂

  14. gauri says:

    its awesome now superna can weave a funny and yet so catchy poem which will make you read in anticipation of what might be next, why did prima donna not sing at the climax. the tears of spices were touching and so was the So-hum experience. there is nothing good sadhana and good food can not solve…a mystery of the singing donna or life in the whole….simply awesome and its so nice to have her back after such a long time ::)

  15. bhawana says:

    Jai Gurudeva
    Divine poem..I mean you can see its so obvious..its such an unreal, beautiful, out of this world, divine flow.
    Ah! I can see where it has come from 🙂
    Suparna didi awesome work. I am a Fan
    Enjoyed every word of it!
    Could imagine so clearly and anything to do with our dear bawa, is just so special 🙂
    Would love to read it again..I mean look at the innocence and simplicity of the work!
    Its so adorable.
    I am so inspired
    Love

    (Let’s not ridicule her for the melodrama
    She’s in the opera after all)

    beautiful , beautiful,,,its not a rhyme scheme ..Its a Divine Scheme 😉

  16. Dilkhush says:

    Bravo ~clap~

    She is a really good story teller…

    Jai Guru Dev 🙂

  17. Monica Tiwari says:

    hahahaha !
    Mama Mia
    It’s Lovely ! 😀
    Bawa, your dishes inspire poetry! haha.

  18. Shruthi says:

    Applause!!!!!
    Ultimate creativity !….:)

  19. Shikhar Mehta says:

    eccellente.

  20. Aparna says:

    Wohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    🙂 🙂 🙂 Toooooooooooo gooooood!!!!!!!!!1

  21. bhawana says:

    I was so inspired with this creativity..look what beautiful poem has come to me !!!!
    In my blog
    jai Gurudeva

  22. jan says:

    BRILLIANT,amazing,superb and what not!hats off to suparna and of course ze hermit!:)

  23. […] Sounds Interesting… » Blog Archive » Ze Hermit in Italy […]

  24. […] Sounds Interesting… » Blog Archive » Ze Hermit in Italy […]

  25. Kannu Priya says:

    lol…burst out laughing. love it!

  26. lodaz says:

    Being a new blogger, I would like to tell you that you have given me much knowledge about it. Thanks for everything.
    regards
    weber grill recipes

  27. AYB says:

    jgd!!! too good….lovely….wud lov to meet u sometime…hav alredy met the hermit…n v do bump in to each other since he lives in n around my part of the world. its so beautifully worded…i visualised the whole thing…n was wondering…at yor creativity. lov…jgd

  28. Suparna says:

    Thanks aunty! That’s really sweet of you 🙂 I haven’t met the hermit though…hopefully soon (God and Guru willing!) I would love to meet you too…need some tips on how to raise super-cool kids 🙂

    bawa, can we have a feature like ‘latest comments’ on your sidebar? This comment could’ve gone un-read…I can’t believe you would’ve let that happen!!!

  29. Meena says:

    Mysterious and fantastic song, keeps the reader want to know more 🙂

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